would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize