By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
