he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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