you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
