i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
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