Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
