Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
