Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize