I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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