I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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