How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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