Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
