remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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