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Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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