She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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