then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize