We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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