so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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