Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
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