It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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