I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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