he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So many bounce houses so little time
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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