Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
