I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I will be naked everywhere
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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