Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc

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(631): View more from New York

Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

he was once again the drunkest girl at the party

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(702): View more from Nevada

I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?

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(609): View more from New Jersey

He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.

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(818): View more from California

Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."

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(339): View more from Massachusetts

Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.

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(425): View more from Washington

Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.

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