it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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