I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize