Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
