You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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