Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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