think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
