i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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