somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize