i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
