He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
