Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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