I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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