So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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