we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She told me I should be a condom model.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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