My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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