I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
