so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
