He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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