yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I didn't notice because vodka
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
