Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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