good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
