Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼‍♀️
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
