I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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