ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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