Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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