I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize