Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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