tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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