Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
