I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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