i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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