I just cut my nipple shaving
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
