So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
