That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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