Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
