Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize