You really coming over, don't trick.
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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