What a fucking waste of an outfit
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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