Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
